What has the world come to when that listening ear isn't there?
Is there no one to talk to who feels the deepest of aching, forgetting the trivial things that the regular man bears?
Bills and politics, tests and relationships, bruises and colds...
There's more to hurt over when death takes its toll.

Everyone around me, moving in slow motion... sad and surreal.
Is it wrong to be crying these tears, having no sympathy for the more fortunate person, the one who finds it easy to heal?
I've known pain, but nothing like this. The horror is damaging to the soul.
I'm sick to my stomach, my heart down in flames as death takes its toll.

In a whirlwind of commotion, the humans around me fall.
I'm the one left standing alone.
When they're sleeping, I'm shattered,
When they're waking, I'm cold.
When they're loving and living,
My breathing grows old.

Copyright @2006 Chrissy Duncan

There are times when you look at me and I find a glimmer worth of hope.
I do things to try and forget it but it's useless.
You'd think the relationship I've formed with my restless pen and paper would allow my soul a moment to breathe...
But the exhale never comes.

There's a sense of happiness looming over me but I can't catch it.
It's beautiful to look at but deep down I know I'm not allowed to touch.
Over the years I've found a friend in the darkness, wrapping my hands around depression as if I were falling off of a mountain and needed to be pulled back.

At times I wish it had let me fall, but always it reeled me in.
There's nothing I can do to escape its tired hands, rescuing me only to blind me from how much it hurts.
There was one time in which I ran into a slim moment of fulfillment,
But before I could hold it, it ran away. He ran away.

All I do is hope now that I will find that moment again. In your eyes I see it, but either you blink or look away before that darkness I hold onto releases me.
In a world of ugly, in a world of black and white and gray...
These two eyes composed of a cerulean tint that only God could craft work their mischievous way into my heavy soul.

Copyright @2006 Chrissy Duncan

Do you know what it's like to be hunted?

Human after human,

Facing things only animals have confronted.

Running in the jungle against the will of my legs,

Tired, being preyed.

I came out of the water, sore and wet.

I could feel the cold sinking into my skin,

I found myself following the sounds of regret.

In the end I won the worst game,

Turned into the man I didn't want to be,

One movement of defeat, ironic and sweet.

From behind the curtain I came at once,

Greeting my huntsman

In ways that left him appalled and stunned.

The trick to hunting is not sniffing one out,

But putting yourself in his place.

The hunter becoming the clout.

Copyright @2006 Chrissy Duncan

Copyright ©2005 Chrissy Duncan

Here I was standing out in the cold, boots in the snow, a fur coat wrapped around my figure.
But a force I can't explain tore everything away, leaving me naked... bare... frozen in this arctic landscape with nothing to cling to but my shivering skin.
I can feel the eyes of this environment's creatures gazing at me in wonderment... pondering my existence... deciding if I am a threat or merely a beautiful victim... perfect for a cruel and unusual attack.
I'm left here alone, embarressed, ashamed, and scared for the heart now pounding louder than the drums of Khazad-dûm against the inside of my polar chest.
I try to cough but the action is stuck within my frigid body as it grows cooler with every passing minute.
Every breath I give birth to can be seen in the air, swirving away from my dry lips... as it always does when I'm so cold.

But this scene is NOT the truth.
This scene is a metaphor... merely brought to life by my bitter and aching imagination.
This scene is how I feel... empty, frozen, alone, naked to every man or beast who passes, waiting to rip me apart like the first man who exposed my soul and SHATTERED it with a deceiving fist.

This scene is the nightmare my spirit now lives with, the nightmare that swallowed me whole and spit me out broken. I'm forever mourning the loss of my smile, grasping on to my new world. Completely and simply... frozen.

Copyright ©2005 Chrissy Duncan

You lie so well, you fool yourself and I find that kind of funny.

One day this mess will catch up to you, destroy you softly.

I find it entertaining that the word “love” no longer holds meaning,

It’s because of this that when you look at me next, you’ll be repulsed by what I’m feeling.

I get as angry as I can without actually hating your face.

My insides are ripped open to the point I’d kill to put you in my place.

I get so mad so fast I can’t control my temper,

But I know one day you’ll end up with a woman who will only love you lesser.

You tried so hard, you hurt yourself and damaged your own soul.

One day, the way you treated me will find you when you’re alone.

And it won’t be nice to you; the world you know will turn so very ugly,

It’s because of this that when you look at me next, you’ll regret what you weren’t really feeling.

I get as angry as I can without actually hating your face.

My insides are ripped open to the point I’d kill to put you in my place.

I get so mad so fast I can’t control my temper,

But I know one day you’ll end up with a woman who will only love you lesser.

The songs I sang for you are gone,

I knew the ball would drop all along.

The way you felt was all too wrong,

And now you’re looking the other way

But when you turn back, I’ll be gone.

Copyright @2006 Chrissy Duncan

I wasn't beautiful during the reign of my life.
Had something better to offer, but no one saught intelligence in a wife.
Men longed for women with bodies like Egyptian queens,
My tender touch remained worthless, my imperfect body unseen.

Always the bridesmain, never the bride.
My heart remains empty, have I been mummified?
Buried with treasures, my tomb covered in gold.
To look beside me, you'll find my corpse alone.

I was funny, I was sweet, I did everything right.
I could sing, I could dance, if I wanted it bad enough I swear I could fly.
I was even poetic, manipulated words as my skill.
But all of that meant nothing, did I end it myself or was I killed?

Always the bridesmain, never the bride.
My heart remains empty, have I been mummified?
Buried with treasures, my tomb covered in gold.
I swear I lived my entire reign next to the most vacant of thrones.

Copyright @2006 Chrissy Duncan

The king of kidding me, always backing down.

Whats that I hear coming down the hallway?

Its the footsteps of your cerebral mind and each contorting sound.

I could never decipher the way your anatomy worked.

Doing something your heart wasnt into,

My version of the perfect man, my beautiful little jerk.

You were always a tangible vision, something I wished to catch,

My forever impossible mission, you handsome disappearing act.

I live for your intimidation, the way you make feel.

Tensing up with every delicate breath,

Its an ugly way to treat someone but its all that leaves me real.

And now I bite my fingernails in anticipation of your smile,

You know the way you goad my soul is vindictive

But Im in love with the way Im convicted of hope in an unbounded trial.

And now I can hear the symphony playing my lover's song.

The conclusion to my epiphany... is that I always heard it wrong.

Copyright ©2006 Chrissy Duncan